Wednesday, June 27, 2012

An inadvertent way of asking for prayer.

As the wildfire grows steadily worse in Colorado Springs, people are posting on Facebook their prayer requests. It’s close to home for me, for I  lived there just a few years ago and  still have friends  there. I  know personally, what burns and what may no longer be. There’s an ache I cannot express. I am scared  , but more so, I feel guilty. 
You see, today my father had major surgery. I mean, major surgery. He needed prayers. I told my closest friends and I know they prayed, but I just couldn’t post it on Facebook. It didn’t feel right.
 It felt hypocritical in so many ways.
I spoke to dad after his 6 hour surgery. I told him I prayed all day. It’s what he wanted to hear. He thanked me. He made it though and is doing well. Truth is, well…I am not too sure about praying anymore, as harsh as that sounds. I just don’t know.  I did an awful lot of worrying. I thought about how I got to say, “I love you” over the phone the night before and feared those would be my last words, no matter how awkward and foreign they sounded coming out. With Facebook being a sure fire way to get prayers, I felt bad about broadcasting such a personal request. Yet, ask for prayers about a fire in a place I lived and loved, I had no problem. Maybe it was an inadvertent way of asking for prayers for my Dad.
My dad, an ache I cannot express.  I love him so, but will never be able to express it in the way that isn’t awkward and foreign..just  like a place I used to live and love so much. Colorado Springs is said to be "God's Country". It's breathtaking. If you've never been there,  you should put it on your "bucket -list".

Prayer for me is too abstract right now.
 I know it works. I have proof.
 I’m just not there at the moment, so I’m asking you.
Please pray for my dad and his healing and a beautiful place called God's Country.