Tuesday, October 30, 2007

In Overtime

I have a recurring dream where I am running through fields and valleys, but always open spaces. I can run forever. The strange thing is that I am on all fours. When both hands hit the hard ground my body propels forward. I glide through vast green landscapes with the wind rushing through my hair. As natural as this feels, I am only aware that this abnormal when others see me whizzing on by.
But, this is my way.
I am fast and I am free, yet incorrect as others see.
I am not sure where this dream originates.
I had a coach growing up who would videotape our games. I used to run with my arms swinging uncontrolably like I was swimming through the air. My teammates would laugh and poke fun at me.
But, it was my way.
In the past 3 years I have had 2 knee surgeries. Sadly, I can no longer run. At times it is even painful to walk. I continued to play after my first surgery, which lead me to a second one just a year later. I was unwilling to give up something that I had done for 34 years. I never thought there would be a day without soccer. Secretly I am entertaining the idea of an old lady league when we return to the states. Please remember that this is a secret and I am keeping it from my knees.Right now I can only dream.These days I am trying to concentrate on my painting, but it is like making love to a stranger while fantasizing about a distant lover.

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