Friday, September 28, 2007

Monkey business

Yesterday animal rights activists in Austria vowed to go to the supreme court to get a chimpanzee declared a person. The group believes that chimpanzees are beings with interests.

If granted, Hiasl (prounced Hee-zul) a 26 year old chimp will be given basic human rights, which includes the right to life, the right to freedom, and the right NOT to be tortured.
This really alarmed me. Is a supreme court ruling really necessary? Are these rights strictly designated to being a person and where do we draw the line?
Does the recent study of finding chimpanzee DNA 99% related to humans make this justifiable? Since sharks are also 99% related to humans, are they next to be declared fellow citizens?
I even heard a rumor that New York Senator, Hillary Clinton is promising to make monkeys into real citizens for her presidential fundraising campaign.
Although I can say the results from the chimpanzee study did help me cope throughout my 12 year stint as a retail manager. I really felt that my co workers were lacking the same one percent. I often considered myself the "Jane Goodall" of retail managers and would show up to meetings with a bag of banana chips , prepared to combat any fecal matter thrown my direction.

Upon further research, scientists are now claiming chimpanzee’s DNA to actually be 95% closely related to humans.

Apparently their research was not thorough enough the first time, they needed to sit in on a couple of retail management meetings.
Who knows maybe the percentage will change again after the next presidental election?

The above photo is Katherine at the Rock of Gibraltar entitled, "The Monkey On Her Back"


Anonymous said...

And I thought the U.S.A. had the preponderance of animal-loving, nut-cases, not Austria.

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